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Didn’t sleep well.  Woke up midway and had this, umm craving? to just chat up chicks. Only 3-4 chicks were online, chatted up with the plain janes, avoided the trolls. Then out of nowhere, started thinking of ways to be able to quit my job and still afford the lifestyle that comes along with it. Fell back to sleep midway.

I feel lighter today. Upping the workout was a good thing.

Till yesterday I was pretty ok, happy with the progress I was making, reasonably satisfied with my station in life. Today I feel extremely dissatisfied, borderline angry. Not outwardly directed, but more like a bubbling discontent. Was way too content smoking, boozing, having fun, doing just enough at work to avoid getting shouted at…  While most of that is still fun to do, this is not the kind of aimless life I envisaged. I have become a slave to material pleasures. Surprising how super stimuli like porn, smoking, boozing, junk eating fuck one up. What I am doing now with my job, with my life, is nowhere close to enough.  Fuck, this has to change.

This noting every emotion and feeling is borderline stupid/uncomfortable, but I want to track my transition throughout this time hence the effort.

 

[EOD

Yeah, crap. did absolutely nothing today. 

And now i’m snoozing.

Waste

]

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